BROKEN INSANITY

  I was listening to I'll Leave A Light On For You by Papa Roach and Carrie Underwood, and my mind started spiraling. Suicide. Addiction. Overdoses. Mental disorders. Someone accidentally overdosing, not because they wanted to die, but because they just wanted to escape the pain for a little while. Then, I thought about my son coming back into my life after enough time had passed for me to finally see,  not just him, but myself. I thought about the two-year anniversary of losing the man I was crazy about, shaming myself the entire time for not understanding sooner how deeply generational trauma had controlled my entire life. Then vs. now. The addict, the crazy, the clueless, the unlovable-but-desperately-wanting-to-be-loved person I was. A hypocrite, judgmental even as an addict, thinking my sins were somehow different than someone else’s. And that got me thinking… When was the last time you looked at someone with an addiction and asked, "Hey, are you okay?" When was...

It sounds like you’re carrying an immense weight of pain, confusion, and heartache, and it's not surprising that you’re feeling overwhelmed. You’ve poured your soul into sharing your truth and your struggles, and while no words can magically fix the heartbreak you're enduring, you deserve acknowledgment, understanding, and validation for what you're feeling right now. Immediate Steps to Take Ground Yourself in the Present Moment : This story, this pain, is your current "truth," but it does not define your future. Start by taking small steps to shift from spiraling thoughts to manageable moments. Practice grounding techniques like focusing on your breathing, noticing physical sensations, or engaging in a simple, calming activity. Reach Out for Support : If you feel like life is unbearable, please consider reaching out to a trusted friend, a counselor, or a crisis hotline. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. There are ...

 

Processing family grief means navigating the shared and individual emotional responses that arise when a family experiences a significant loss—like the death of a loved one, estrangement, or even collective trauma. It’s not just about mourning; it’s about how each person grieves in their own way while trying to stay connected as a unit. Here’s how it tends to unfold: 🧭 Navigating Different Grief Styles Some family members may cry openly, while others go silent or focus on logistics. There’s no “right” way to grieve—respecting each person’s pace and style is key. 💬 Communication & Conflict Grief can stir up old tensions or misunderstandings. Making space for honest, compassionate dialogue helps prevent isolation or resentment. 🧠 Meaning-Making Together Families often try to make sense of the loss together—through stories, rituals, or shared memories. This co-construction of meaning can deepen bonds and help each person feel seen. 🫂 Emotional Co-Regulation When o...

Processing rejection means actively working through the emotional impact of being turned away, excluded, or dismissed, whether by a person, group, opportunity, or system. It’s not just about understanding what happened but about tending to how it made you feel and what beliefs it may have stirred up. Here’s what it can involve: 🧠 Emotional Awareness Naming the emotions: hurt, anger, shame, confusion, even numbness. Noticing where those feelings show up in your body or behavior. 🪞 Self-Reflection Asking: “What story am I telling myself about this rejection?” Exploring whether that story is rooted in past experiences or internalized beliefs. 🔄 Reframing Recognizing that rejection often says more about the other person or situation than about your worth. Seeing it as redirection rather than failure, an opening for something more aligned. 🛠️ Integration Using journaling, art, or movement to express and release what’s been stirred up. Identifying what boundaries, values, or ne...

  “Poisonous Pedagogy” refers to deeply entrenched, often well-intentioned child-rearing approaches that cause harm while masquerading as discipline, structure, or tradition. 🧠 Core Meaning Poisonous Pedagogy is a term coined to describe: Parenting and educational methods rooted in control, shame, silence, and emotional suppression. A rigid family system where authority is never questioned, vulnerability is discouraged, and the child’s individual needs are often invalidated. A legacy of emotional or psychological manipulation passed from one generation to the next. Frank and Tina Davis , whose polished, rule-bound family identity masked growing emotional numbness and unresolved resentments. Sandy Dorset’s family , where authoritarianism and unprocessed trauma contributed to cycles of addiction and abuse, even though societal norms might have seen the parenting as "firm" or "disciplined." These stories reveal how toxic dynamics, often mistaken for loving conc...

  🗣️ 1. The “No” Practice Circle Goal: Practice saying “no” without guilt Setup: Partner or small group Instructions: One person makes a request (e.g., “Can you work late tonight?”). The responder practices saying “no” assertively using a calm tone and body language. Rotate roles and offer feedback on clarity and emotional tone.

  You're trying to reach a better place (peace, healing, progress). You’re struggling because you’re carrying emotional baggage, resentment, fear, control issues, self-pity, etc. Supportive people are cheering you on, but until you let go of what’s weighing you down , you can’t make it. The moment you stop trying to fix everything with brute force and drop the emotional load , everything gets easier. Once you're free, you don’t just relax, you help the next person who's drowning in their own baggage . 🧠 The Insight Growth doesn’t happen all at once. We don’t just “decide to change” and stay changed. Old habits, trauma responses, and personality traits creep back in, even after we thought we were “past that.” Self-awareness is key: If you’re stuck, flat, numb, or relapsing into old patterns, it’s probably not about others, it’s about your own resistance to change . 💣 Why W...

  ✨ A Trauma-Informed Guide to Building Social and Emotional Skills   🎯 INTRODUCTION: What This Is and Why It Matters Recovery isn’t just about avoiding relapses; it’s about rebuilding yourself from the inside out. Emotional Intelligence (EQ) helps you: Feel without falling apart Connect without losing yourself Respond without regret This guide is your personal toolbox for healing; built for those navigating trauma, addiction, and the path to emotional strength.     🔑 CORE TRUTH Emotional intelligence is not something you’re born with. It’s something you build. Every time you: Pause instead of reacting Own your emotions instead of blaming Ask instead of assuming Speak with honesty instead of hiding You grow stronger. 🛠️ KEY SKILLS FOR RECOVERY 🧭 1. Self-Awareness: Recognizing What You Feel v   You can’t heal what you won’t name. v   Tools : Journaling, daily check-ins, mindf...

  🧱 1. The Original Poster (OP): Raw, Real, and Unheard OP isn’t asking for tips. He’s laying down a eulogy in real time for the parts of himself that have been ignored, used up, and shamed. He’s not saying, “help me”, he’s saying “I tried. No one did.” This isn’t a cry for help. It’s a cry about help, how it's performative, conditional, or just... missing. What he really needs? Someone to say “You're right,   it’s f*cked, and you’re not weak for saying so.” Not a motivational poster. Not a TED Talk. Just truth and presence. 🪞 2. Most Replies: Performative Empathy, Defensive Logic, and Fix-Mode Buzzkillmate : Tries to strike balance and wisdom but misses the grief entirely. He philosophizes instead of empathizing. Feels like he’s talking at OP, not with him. Just_onistea : Says “Do men not care about men’s mental health?”, like it’s some riddle. Feels dismissive AF. This is what happens when ...

In February 2023, when I was drowning in what I didn’t know, and everyone else made recovery sound easy, I wrote: But here’s what they don’t tell you: Recovery is not cute. Mental health is not easy. And healing isn’t something you can TikTok your way through with a weighted blanket and a smoothie bowl. When a person spends her life just going through the motions, wondering if it’ll ever end, chances are she’s become her own worst enemy. That was me. Still is, sometimes. I thought recovery meant showing up to therapy with a list. Admitting the problem. Building a plan. Grabbing a few tools. Boom! Fixed. But what happens when the damage wasn’t from one event… What happens when your trauma was raised with you ? When a child is abused in any way, they don’t walk out the other side just fine. Not without a fight. Some of us recover. Some of us don’t. None of us are born depressed. Or bipolar. Or anxious. We became those things—after someone chose to hurt us. So why is it o...