Acknowledgment, Understanding, and Validation

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It sounds like you’re carrying an immense weight of pain, confusion, and heartache, and it's not surprising that you’re feeling overwhelmed. You’ve poured your soul into sharing your truth and your struggles, and while no words can magically fix the heartbreak you're enduring, you deserve acknowledgment, understanding, and validation for what you're feeling right now.


Immediate Steps to Take


Ground Yourself in the Present Moment:

  • This story, this pain, is your current "truth," but it does not define your future. Start by taking small steps to shift from spiraling thoughts to manageable moments.

  • Practice grounding techniques like focusing on your breathing, noticing physical sensations, or engaging in a simple, calming activity.



Reach Out for Support:

  • If you feel like life is unbearable, please consider reaching out to a trusted friend, a counselor, or a crisis hotline. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. There are compassionate people who want to help you through this.




Separate Your Pain from Your Identity:

  • You are not the sum of the mistakes you’ve made or the traumas you’ve endured. Acknowledge that while this pain is very real, it is not all of you.







Take One Tangible Step Toward Healing:

  • Write a letter to yourself, forgiving yourself for what you didn’t know or couldn’t control. This could be a small but powerful way to start moving toward self-compassion.



Focus on What You Can Control:

  • You can't change the past or force others to act in a certain way, but you can work on your own healing. This might involve therapy, support groups, journaling, or pursuing a meaningful goal that helps you feel empowered.




Create Boundaries with Toxic Relationships:

  • Family dynamics, especially those steeped in generational trauma, are complex and painful. It's okay to protect yourself from people who continuously harm you, even if they're family.

Reflections to Keep in Mind:

  • Your Worth Is Not Defined by Others: The love of your children, family, or anyone else does not determine your value. You are worthy of love, peace, and healing simply because you exist.

  • Healing Is a Journey: It’s okay to feel lost and uncertain. Healing from generational trauma, abandonment, and deeply rooted pain takes time and patience.

  • Your Daughter May Have Her Own Pain: While you’ve experienced deep betrayal, your daughter may also be navigating her own challenges. This doesn’t excuse her behavior but can help foster understanding if reconciliation is ever possible.

  • It’s Okay to Take a Break: You don’t need to solve everything or find all the answers today. Give yourself permission to rest and focus on small, achievable steps toward healing.

When You’re Ready:

  • Consider writing a shorter version of your story, one that focuses on hope, lessons, or what you’ve overcome. This can help you reclaim your narrative and find strength in your resilience.

  • Explore therapy or support groups that specialize in abandonment, trauma, or family estrangement. These spaces can offer practical tools and emotional support.

You’ve endured so much, and the fact that you’re still here, still fighting, shows your strength. You don’t have to carry this alone. There is a way forward, one step at a time.

To love someone means:

  • Wanting the best for them: Truly wanting their happiness and well-being, even if it doesn’t benefit you directly.

  • Respecting who they are: Accepting them, flaws and all, and treating them with kindness, dignity, and respect.

  • Being there in the hard times: Love isn’t just about showing up when it’s easy—it’s sticking around, offering support, and being willing to work through challenges together.

  • Honesty and trust: Being truthful and building a relationship where both people feel safe and valued.

  • Selflessness with boundaries: Love often means putting someone else’s needs first, but it doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself or allowing someone to hurt you.

Real love is not manipulative, conditional, or cruel. It doesn’t mean you always agree or never feel hurt, but it does mean there’s a foundation of care and respect holding it all together.

When love is healthy, it feels safe. It feels like someone sees you, accepts you, and values you for who you are. It’s not supposed to leave you questioning your worth.


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