🔗 The Story (Generalized)

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 You're trying to reach a better place (peace, healing, progress).

You’re struggling because you’re carrying emotional baggage, resentment, fear, control issues, self-pity, etc.

Supportive people are cheering you on, but until you let go of what’s weighing you down, you can’t make it.

The moment you stop trying to fix everything with brute force and drop the emotional load, everything gets easier.

Once you're free, you don’t just relax, you help the next person who's drowning in their own baggage.

🧠 The Insight

  • Growth doesn’t happen all at once. We don’t just “decide to change” and stay changed.
  • Old habits, trauma responses, and personality traits creep back in, even after we thought we were “past that.”
  • Self-awareness is key: If you’re stuck, flat, numb, or relapsing into old patterns, it’s probably not about others, it’s about your own resistance to change.

💣 Why We Stay Stuck

  1. We refuse to let go of certain attitudes or behaviors.
  2. We blame others (people, situations, the system).
  3. We rationalize or make excuses.
  4. We deny there’s even a problem.

🔄 The Real Work

  • Transformation comes from a willingness to question your long-held thought patterns.
  • You don’t need to “be perfect.” You just need to be willing to:
    • Call out your own BS.
    • Replace resentment with forgiveness.
    • Trade fear for faith in your own ability to cope.
    • Move from self-hate to self-respect.
    • Shift from fantasy to grounded choices.
    • Let go of denial, judgment, and isolation, and move toward peace, honesty, and connection.

🧭 The Goal

It’s not just to stop suffering. It’s to become a better version of yourself, someone lighter, freer, and capable of joy and purpose.

The journey isn’t about doing it perfectly. It’s about staying in motion and being real with yourself.


🎒 The Real Message:

If you want to grow, you’ve got to be willing to let go of the stuff that’s holding you back, even if it’s familiar, comfortable, or feels like part of who you are.


🔥 What That Stuff Usually Looks Like:

  • Reactivity, control, ego, judgment, fear, people-pleasing, resentment
  • Traits we mistake for personality, but they’re really just survival tools turned toxic
  • Habits we’ve outgrown, but we keep them because they’re predictable

❌ Why We Stay Stuck:

  • We’re not actually ready to change, we just want the discomfort to go away
  • We know what’s wrong, but we don’t do anything with that insight
  • We fear we’ll lose our edge, identity, or personality if we give up our flaws
  • Pride, fear of failure, comfort in chaos, or clinging to the victim role

✅ What Being “Ready” Actually Means:

  • Willing to stop defending harmful patterns
  • Willing to live like change is already happening (“act as if”)
  • Willing to get honest, even if it’s uncomfortable
  • Trusting that something better will replace what we let go of

⚖️ Progress, Not Perfection:

  • You won’t change overnight. It’s messy, nonlinear, and sometimes you backslide
  • True change shows up in small, repeated choices: the ones that feel uncomfortable but right
  • The goal is balance, less reacting, more responding, less self-sabotage, more self-awareness

🧘‍♀️ Surrender Redefined:

  • Not passive. Not weak. It’s an active decision to stop doing life your way when it hasn’t worked
  • Letting go of control so you can live with peace, not just relief
  • Surrender means saying: I’m done living in my own way that keeps hurting me, and I’m open to something better




🛠️ How to Actually Do It:

  • Stop analyzing everything to death. Insight is only valuable if it leads to action
  • Practice daily awareness: notice patterns, challenge your own excuses
  • Surround yourself with people who hold you accountable and model what growth looks like
  • Practice “as if”, live like you’re already becoming the version of yourself you want to be

🧠 Bonus Truth Bombs:

  • You’re not bad. You were just doing your best with limited tools.
  • Change happens when the pain of staying the same becomes worse than the fear of change.
  • Your habits are not your identity.
  • Letting go feels like loss at first, but it always makes room for something better.

 

🧱 THE ROCK STORY (Mary in the water)

Core Message:
People carry emotional "rocks", things like fear, resentment, shame, or anger, that drag them under. Letting go of those burdens is what finally allows them to move forward in life.

Key Takeaways:

  • You can want change but still carry what’s holding you back.
  • The burden feels normal, until you’re drowning.
  • Freedom starts the moment you realize you can drop it.
  • Once you're free, your job is to help others see they can drop their rocks too.

⚠️ WHY CHANGE FEELS HARD

Core Message:
People don’t change just because they see the problem. Change gets blocked by pride, blame, excuses, and denial.

Breakdown:

  • 🤷 You don’t want to give it up (even if it's toxic).
  • 👈 You think it's someone else's fault.
  • 🧠 You rationalize the behavior (“It’s not that bad”).
  • 🙈 You don’t even realize you're doing it.

🧩 WHAT "LETTING GO" ACTUALLY MEANS

Core Message:
Letting go isn't just one big moment, it's a lifetime of choosing to loosen your grip on habits that hurt you.

How it looks:

  • Stop reacting with the same mindset that created the chaos.
  • Drop the internal stories that justify staying stuck.
  • Be willing to trade your survival instincts for something healthier.
  • Trust that you'll survive the discomfort of growth.

🔁 THE CYCLE OF REAL GROWTH

Core Message:
You don’t just “heal and move on”, you evolve by revisiting the same core issues from deeper and deeper layers.

Truths to Remember:

  • Your old junk will come back up, it's not failure, it’s feedback.
  • When you feel flat or disconnected, it might be time to release something new.
  • The problem isn’t always "doing more," it’s usually "letting go of something old."



🧠 SWITCHING FROM SELF-SABOTAGE TO SELF-RESPECT

Core Message:
Every negative pattern has an opposite that leads to peace, freedom, and actual connection.

Reframe the defects:

Old Pattern

Healthier Alternative

Fear

Faith

Anger

Serenity

Ego

Humility

Control

Trust

Self-pity

Self-worth

Judgment

Compassion

Fantasy

Reality

Loneliness

Connection

💡 SPIRITUAL GROWTH = CONSISTENT SURRENDER

Core Message:
You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to keep showing up, choosing to let go of what’s blocking you, bit by bit.

Reminders:

  • Don’t wait to feel “ready.” Readiness is action, not a mood.
  • Keep asking: What am I still carrying that’s not mine anymore?
  • Your freedom grows in direct proportion to how much you're willing to release.

💬 CLOSING MESSAGE

“Drop the rock” means:
Stop dragging around things that no longer serve you just because they’re familiar.

Whether it’s a belief, a reaction, a behavior, or a role you’ve played for decades, if it’s dragging you under, you can let it go.

 Core Message:

God’s shaping you for a higher purpose. But to stay aligned, you need intentional quiet time.

Key points:

  • You’re being remade for something bigger than yourself.
  • Morning prayer and meditation = clarity, strength, and peace for the day.
  • Shut your mind down, open your heart, stay disciplined.

🧼 PREP FOR SPIRITUAL CLEANSING

Core Message:
Before change happens, you need to clean house, internally, externally, spiritually.

Checklist of what to examine:

  • 🗣️ Language – Swearing, gossip, sarcasm, prejudice = toxic habits.
  • ☕ Addictive patterns – Caffeine, sugar, gambling, work, sex, clutter. It’s not just about alcohol.
  • 🛏️ Sexuality – Are you using sex for connection or to escape?
  • 💳 Lifestyle – Overspending, overworking, overexercising, over-anything = red flag.

✂️ CLEANSING RITUAL IDEAS

Try these to level up:

  • 🍽️ Food log day – Notice eating patterns.
  • 🧘 Retreat – Go away, get still, reflect deeply.
  • 🤐 Silent day – No talking, no distractions, just listening inward.
  • 🚫 Celibacy – Reconnect with self outside of sex.
  • 🧹 Declutter – Get rid of old stuff = make room for new life.

🧍 STORIES THAT HIT HOME

Judith’s Story:
She prayed for God to clean her apartment. Spoiler: God didn’t. She realized she had to ask for willingness, then do the work herself. Big Third Step lesson.

Pam’s Retreat:
She felt spiritually empty. Took four days solo. Meditated, walked, fasted, examined every area of her life. Came back grounded, realigned, and ready to grow.

🧠 REFRAME

Cleansing is spiritual prep.
Meditation is spiritual fuel.
Letting go of the old makes space for something sacred and alive.

 

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