Skip the kids and Buy the Damn dog!

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Post Content:

In February 2023, I wrote this at rock bottom. I wasn’t ready to share it then. I am now, because maybe someone else needs to see what breaking looks like when you gave it everything you had.

Fifteen years. 

That’s how long I was allowed to be their mother. Then it was over. I went from their favorite person to the one they crushed all the way down to the core.

I wasn’t perfect. But I worked. I protected. I showed up. I made sure they weren’t around chaos. I gave them my best. And what I got in return? Neck wrinkles and a bad reputation.

They let me feed them, clothe them, spoil them, clean their messes, and provide their wants—but I was never allowed to say no. Not once. If I didn’t do it, someone else would, and I’d be the bad guy. That was the cycle. That was my life. Not just with them, but with my whole family. If I didn’t jump, I was punished. Emotionally. Relationally. I was bullied into being useful.

I skipped the bar to go home to my kids. I stayed out of messy situations to protect them. I did the opposite of what I grew up with, and it still didn’t save me.

When they got old enough to talk back, it all fell apart. I didn’t touch them. I didn’t scream at them. I tried to protect their spirit. But silence and space didn’t build trust, it built distance. I backed off, hoping they’d grow into themselves with love and freedom. Instead, they walked out and left me with nothing but pain and unanswered questions.

Brenden used to have the bluest eyes I’d ever seen. Then one day, I realized I couldn’t even remember what color they were. That’s how fast it changed. One minute I was his everything, the next he was clinching his fists at me and calling me names. That’s trauma. That’s loss. That’s the wreckage of emotional whiplash from kids who got brave while I was still trying to be kind.

And if you're reading this thinking, “Same…”, then here's what I want you to do:

Reflect On This:

  • Who in your life benefits from your silence?

  • Where have you mistaken control for connection?

  • What “no” do you still carry guilt for, even though it saved your sanity?

Final Thought:
You can give everything and still get left behind. You can love hard and still be erased. But what you can’t do is keep abandoning yourself in the name of keeping others comfortable.

Skip the kids. Buy the damn dog. And maybe, for the first time, take care of the person who’s always taken care of everyone else.



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